Swan

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 01:18:57 GMT

i cannot wait for friday... donlan, sochacki, chuck and shaun are coming out here for the purdue/iowa game... its gonna be one crazy night and then tailgate :) my parents are coming on friday too and they are taking me shopping... def excited about that too!!

one more test tomorrow and then i'm done for like two weeks... i can finally relax :) i'm taking tonight off though and going out for ski/snowboard club... i can't refuse free beer ;) what can i say... i'm THIRSTY!

p.s. not happy about the turnout of the election... possibly moving to canada

random thoughts

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 00:28:30 GMT

i think lauren and katie are right... i think i have had the wrong "type" all along... scott is not my type at all and i am happier than ever.

being a girl sucks... i seriously think i might die.

there was this really mean kid in my chem lab today, i asked if i could work with him and his partner and he was all like.. uhh i guess... he was really scary though, i didn't even want to work with them- he was a total goth kid... but yeah these two cute boys saw it and they were like here come work with us, so i guess it worked out-- still kinda wanted to cry when it happened though!

laura made me a double of me doing a beer bong at homecoming tailgate... its the sweetest picture ever haha i love it!

two tests this week... phonetics tomorrow and sociology thursday-- wish me luck!

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 23:20:21 GMT

cuz its all in my head
i think about it over and over again
i replay it over and over again
and I can't take it, I can't shake it no...

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 23:56:22 GMT

wow... he really did love me...

oh tuesday...

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 21:45:39 GMT

art history fuckin blows... i'm gonna fail it so i should probably drop, but i don't know if i can, because then i am only taking 11 hours... fucking art, why am i going to need to know that shit later in life... who gives a shit about how to spell some french guy that painted some picture 200 years ago's name... GRRRRR!!

so my parents found out about my speeding ticket, and i definitly should have told them about it 2 months ago when it happened, but oh well. my dad called the court office or whatever and they are giving me a second chance at going to court since i didn't know i should have done that, sooo my dad is being sent papers to fill out so that we can go to court for it and i can hopefully get court supervision... i'm gonna have to miss school though which is not a good thing... but whatev!

kinda wanna go out tonight... or at least get out of the dorms, i think i'm allergic to my room, its no good. i'm starting to get a cold, and i haven't had one in a while, probs because i haven't been sleeping in my room very much... its not good.

homework is a killer.

ahhh...

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 03:21:05 GMT

i'm at home for the weekend and it feels soooo good to just relax and be away from all the madness going on in IC. i love it to death there, but there is always so much going on. there are a lot of people going home this weekend so i think it was a good choice to come on back to a-town. donlan is home this weekend too, which is AWESOME!

little got her tatoo today, a little ladybug on her hip. it turned out real cute. i went with her to get it, and from the expressions on her face, i don't know if i'll ever be able to get one (she says it wasnt that bad though)

iowa vs arizona state tomorrow night- hopefully i'll be going out somewhere to watch the game, it should be a good one! GO HAWKS!

im probably gonna hang out with ryan tomorrow, kinda nervous about it. i really don't know how its gonna be...

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 01:07:08 GMT

so we broke up tonight... i really don't even know what to say about it.

</3

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 20:12:06 GMT

i really don't know what to do... i don't want to make a decision that i am going to regret, but i'm really not sure if it is right for me. i am not happy and i have enough other things to deal with and i don't need the distraction. i hate this... i want to be able to give another chance, but i just don't know if it is worth it in the long run, its way too hard with the distance and ahhh i don't even know what to think right now...

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 18:57:42 GMT

i only have 100 dollars left, i really don't know what i'm going to do, i have been blowing money left and right on the stupidest shit. i need to stop going out so much. i need to study more... and remember why it is that i'm here... i am doing good in the 2 classes that i care about, but i haven't been doing anything in the 2 i hate, which is a problem because i need to do well in all of them... RAWR. i'm totally stressed out, i don't know what to do with myself...

<3

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 01:04:12 GMT

so as of today ryan and i have been together for a month... its gone by REAL fast. we had a kinda rough weekend, but i trust him when he says things will change. im really proud of him for getting everything settled at COD and getting his life back on track. i know he's capable of doing so much, i just hope that he takes this all seriously and ends up as a fireman in a couple of years :)

martini night tonight with the girls... always good times

RAWR

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 01:21:46 GMT

sooo frustrated right now... i have sooo much homework to do, but i can't do it because everyone is so FUCKING loud here... my roommate and her friend are sitting on the futon screaming and giggling over boys... and the girls across the hall are blasting weird music... and there are people running up and down the hall.... right now i really wish i didn't live in the dorms- this is really pissing me off!!

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 14:30:31 GMT

its been a while since i've written... i'm at school now. things are going well... i'm really scared that i am going to fuck everything up again but i am trying my hardest so that it does not happen. i am missing ryan like crazy! he was here last weekend and is hopefully coming up again this weekend, i'm excited. laura and i get along great and i'm sooo glad she's my roommate. our floor is awesome, i love the girls so much, we all went out together on saturday night and had a blast, its gonna be a great year :)

<3

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 21:35:29 GMT

so as of last night... ryan and i are "officially" together :) really sucks that i'm leaving in like 2 weeks but i think we can handle it... i'm not THAT far away. oh yeah- i'm not going back to school til the 21st, kinda sucks cuz i don't get a week there to just relax, but i don't really mind cuz i have more time with my friends here, my fam, and ryan. things are starting to calm down around here... family doesn't really hate me anymore and they have been pretty cool about letting me go out and stuff... hopefully it'll be back to normal before i go back to school!

lori's coming out here tonight, i gotta pick her up from the train station pretty soon, we went out to her apartment in the city last night (so jealous... her building is like a freakin hotel) not sure what we're gonna do tonight but i think i'm gonna make ryan and alex drive out here, i'm sick of having to drive home all tired and stuff from downers grove... ah well though- we'll just have to see whats going on i guess!

only 10 more days...

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 15:57:38 GMT

so basically i screwed up again... yea i know- what else is new.... but parents are really upset this time, and honestly i don't think its THAT big of a deal... they are pissed because i stopped going/quite my job at connies. i understand why they are upset at me but i really think that they overreacted. my dad threatened to not let me go back to iowa and then said that he was going to cut me off completly, no more car, he's not paying insurance, cell phone, gas... nothing. but honestly, i don't think he would do that to me- but then again maybe that is what i need. i do need to grow up. and i think that that would force me to do it. its so hard for me to be "responsible" because i have been spoon fed everything my entire life, i have never had to do anything for myself because daddy always did it for me. thats what i hate, i just want to be independent, i want to be me. but my parents are still governing my life. this is probably making no sense, but i am just typing whatever comes into my head... i don't want to think about this anymore so i am going to stop.

i've been kinda seeing this guy ryan... such an amazing guy. i'm so sad that i had to meet him with 2 weeks left before i go back to iowa.... but he's coming out the 15th with me and is gonna help me move in the 16th and then he's gonna stay for a couple days, so i'm really excited about that. its been so long since i've actually connected with someone the way i do with him... its an amazing feeling :)

i love life

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 16:39:17 GMT

haste the day and glasseater are both coming to iowa city the first week i'm back... i am sooooo excited :)

2 more hours til the big 1-9

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 02:53:38 GMT

-digital camera
-dooney and bourke purse with matching wallet and key chain
-coach wallet to match my purse
-going shopping at tiffany and co tomorrow in chicago with mom and get to pick out whatever bracelet i want
-jason taylor jersey (thanks snyders!!!)
-tons of stuff for my room next year
-remote possibilites (some weird game, but it looks fun)
...and some other little stuff!! plus going shopping downtown tomorrow :)

my "golden" birthday definitly goes down as one of the best ever :)

2 more days...

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 20:43:10 GMT

nenaw and joe are the sweetest people on earth. they gave me a BEAUTIFUL necklace for my birthday plus $50! the necklace is gold has 3 heart shaped rubys in a vertical line with little diamonds in between!! i love it... I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!

going out for an early birthday dinner with the 'rents to Benihana tonight, super excited for that!!

wow

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 13:23:01 GMT

last night was kinda random... but it was so nice too. i had forgotten how happy he makes me... i'm paying for it now though since he went home at 5 and i am up now to go to work at 9, gotta love working ALL day on 3 hours of sleep- it was worth it though.

i get knocked down... but i get up again

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 02:12:05 GMT

we've been talking about it all through emails and i really hope that we can work stuff out. i don't want our friendship to end, but i didn't know how else to get through to her cuz when i have brought things up in the past, i don't think things have changed. now i don't think i am perfect or anything... i know that i have made many mistakes in the past 7 years. and i also know that i pretty much abandoned her for casey first semester. but i realized what i was doing and changed, and thats all i'm asking of her... just for her to see what she is doing, and if she wants to change than that is her choice.

so i love the '90s is the greatest show ever... it makes me soo happy!! definitly reminds me of my childhood- i had forgotten about so much stuff that happened throughout the years... kinda sad that they are already making it for the 1990s though... WE'RE GETTING OLD!!

i move back to iowa city one month from today and i CANNOT WAIT!! not that i don't like being home, but i just feel like i am useless here, i have so much to do when i get back to school cuz i am so far behind with my credits (i am only gonna have 33 at the end of next semester when i should have about 45) and i really just want to get started now... i think about it all the time, how i'm gonna have to really work hard and blah blah blah- but there is nothing i can do about it now, and i hate that feeling. i really just wanna start getting my life back together... i dunno, hard to explain i guess!!

:)

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 04:53:36 GMT

god is amazing!!

ps- i smoked my last cigarette tonight- we'll see how i actually do though!!

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 20:07:17 GMT

please pray for amanda's boyfriend andrew... he may have cancer, he goes to the doctor today to find out.
thanks guys.

random thoughts

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 05:19:27 GMT

i've decided to give up on the second longest friendship i have ever had. it is completely one sided and i really feel like i am getting taken advantage of. maybe things will change once school starts up again, and maybe a little break is what we need, but all i know is that i can't sit here and feel used any longer. i only have a few true friends and i am fine with that, they are all i need. although i have known her for 7 years, lately it feels like we are strangers, i really don't know her anymore and i think that this is the right decision.

about that money issue from before... this week i am working a ton and i have worked out a plan to budget my money so hopefully i won't be in that bad of shape for next year. also, i know i am gonna sound like a spoiled brat BUT my dad told me yesterday that he would work something out with me to help with my money problems because he doesn't want me working since i really need to concentrate on getting good grades.

i went and bought a ton of stuff for the room next year today :) laura and i are doing this whole hawaiian tropical theme... super cute!! i talked to her for about 30 min tonight, i can't wait for next year, she's such a sweet <3.

i've been really good about working out and eating, my parents have even noticed that i've lost some weight (which makes me happy because for the first month or so i was home all my mom would say to me was comments on how fat i was) i've still got a ways to go though...

i miss having someone to love.... i am really happy for my cousin, she gets to go visit an amazing guy who i think she could really have something special with... i love them both to death <3 i need to find a canadian for me

i get to sleep in tomorrow- super excited!!

anyone want to donate??

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 16:17:22 GMT

so i really really really need money... i only have like $200 saved up and i am barely working at all so i don't know how i'm supposed to make money. i'm definitly going to need to get a job at school next semester cuz there is no way i can save up enough in the next month to last me the next 6 months.

hopefully i'll get some money for my bday though :) 11 days away

c-stone

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:00:48 GMT

cornerstone was amazing. awesome bands, awesome people... i loved it! i am really going to miss the canadians. jose with his yellow feet, paul with his hair and eyeliner, marq just being marq, and js being his random french self. i already can't wait for next year...

missy leaves tomorrow :(

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 21:59:21 GMT

missy comes tomorrow WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO